No thank you for the tapas.

I’d like a full plate of food.

No thank you for the cupcake.

I’d like a whole cake.

No thank you for the slider.

I’d like a regular burger.

 No thank you for the pedigreed lapdog.

I’d like a big mutt.

No thank you for the 100-calorie package of snacks.

I’d like a big cookie.

 No thank you for the 59-ounce carton of orange juice.

I’d like a half-gallon as usual.

 No thank you for the offer to pay only 77 cents on the dollar for Social Security.

I’d like my full benefits.

 No thank you for the cybersex.

I’d like an old-fashioned fuck.

 No thank you for eavesdropping to keep me safe.

I’d like my privacy.

 No thank you for stores open on Thanksgiving.

I’d like a day off.

 No thank you for the diet beer.

I’d like a stout.

 No thank you for the leased car.

I’d like to buy one.

 No thank you for Daylight Savings Time.

I’d like you not to mess with the clock.

 No thank you for “liberal” presidents.

I’d like Richard Nixon to come back from the dead to see that he’s left of the Democrats now.

 No thank you for the miniature American dream.

Mine is still fullsized.

 *******
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